Jump ahead:
- Back Story
- 4 lessons you can learn
- 5 suggestions for couples embarking/currently in an LDR
- Words of encouragement
There are already so many factors that can make or break a relationship. Add on the extra time difference, distance apart, and things not working out the way we want, ultimately piling up on the already present complication and frustration from not being able to physically meet our partners.
In this article, I’d like to share my experience of being in an LDR for 6 months and some tips so that if you are going through an LDR, you will be able to make a smoother transition, and encounter lesser setbacks while enjoying the journey along the way.
- Back Story
- 4 lessons you can learn:
- 1. Accepting the differences
- 2. Things won’t always go as planned
- 3. Don’t keep checking up on your partner
- 4. You & your partner are a 2-man team
- 5 suggestions for couples on an LDR
- 1. Emphasize on personal development during this time apart:
- 2. Take everything you see on social media with a pinch of salt:
- 3. Open & Transparent communication:
- 4. Channel all your thoughts and feelings on another outlet:
- 5. Find a schedule that works for both of you if possible
- Final Thoughts
Back Story
Before my partner and I approached this LDR, we were constantly by each other’s side. We live about 10 minutes away from each other, so we went to school and training sessions together, were in the same classes, ate meals together, etc. Until, the time of our internship approached, and he was posted to Thailand, while I was posted to Japan.
Distance sure does make the relationship grow fonder, but at the same time, the longing to physically touch and see your other half would grow too. The most important lesson that I’ve learned would be to learn to accept and treasure this time apart.
4 lessons you can learn:
1. Accepting the differences
There were many things that took time for us to get used to.
- First off, there was the distance, which we never encountered before, and was now a barrier.
- Second, comes the time differences. Japan is 2 hours ahead of Thailand. It may not seem like a lot, but it piles up!
- Next, there are different work cultures that come from working in different types of establishments. I was interning at an SME, while my partner was working for a startup. I had fixed working hours from 9am — 6pm. But for my partner posted to a startup, going to work is like entering a battlefield. No fixed hours, OT as and when needed, lots of uncertainty, etc.
This meant that I had a lot of free time after work, and plus the time difference means more time to kill before my partner gets off work.
With not much to do apart from chores, preparing meals, working out, etc, there’s too much time for my insecurities to overpower my rational thinking. This resulted in lots of doubts and brought up certain trust issues during the span of the LDR.
2. Things won’t always go as planned
“Oh, we’ll call every weekend at this time. Or let’s catch up on this date at this time.”
It doesn’t always work out. Expect the unexpected, and have contingency plans ready too. I could meet the dates and times we set, but due to my partner’s varied work schedule, there were many times we had to postpone.
This definitely got me annoyed due to its frequency of occurrence, but…
I had to learn to be patient, understanding, and see things from his perspective.